the point of breaking

Where do you turn when the only constant in your life is distant? How do you look to the future when your past is marred with regrets and shame? What do you do when every one of your actions contradicts what you know is right?

Lead me beside the water so still

Let me catch my breath

Let me drink my fill

Let me lie in fields of green

Where only gentle breezes blow

I’ll reach out my empty hands

For the cup that over flows

Restore my soul, Restore my soul

I’ve stood too long here in these shadows

These valley walls are all I see

I need the skilled eyes of my Shepherd

Now my vision’s failing me

Then I will run and not be weary

I will walk and not faint

I will soar with wings of eagles

In God alone is my strength

Surely goodness and mercy

Will find their way to me

And I will live with them forever

I will have no more need

The Lord is my Shepherd

He is my God

I will live with Him forever

I shall not want -Sherri Youngward

Meet me in The Garden

"The Secret Garden was what Mary called it when she was thinking of it. She liked the name, and she liked still more the feeling that when its beautiful old walls shut her in no one knew where she was. It seemed almost like being shut out of the world in some fairy place. The few books she had read and liked had been fairy-story books, and she had read of secret gardens in some of the stories. Sometimes people went to sleep in them for a hundred years, which she had thought must be rather stupid. She had no intention of going to sleep, and, in fact, she was becoming wider awake every day which passed" -The Secret Garden

This past weekend God led me to read Song of Solomon...not a book that I would expect to hold much relevance to the life of a single, 19 year old girl without any male prospects on the horizon :) I was pleasantly surprised as the Master of Romance began to woo me, saying all the right things, but with utmost sincerity. I basked in the feeling of being His treasured one, as He called me His Darling, His Beloved, His Lily among thorns. After I was successfully wrapped around His finger, He beckoned me to join Him in The Garden. It is there, in a beautiful sanctuary of blooming blossoms, where we can experience true intimacy. Something beyond even the most romantic experience that the earth can offer. Pure intimacy with Christ is more than something sensual or erotic, it is spiritual and thirst-quenching. It explores the innermost parts of ourselves that we don't even dare reveal, and affirms that we are beautiful beings, down to our very core. The most astonishing thing is, this incredible satisfaction and fulfillment is available to us whenever we desire it, at any time of day. God longs for us to join Him in His Garden and drink of His Spirit. We give into our flesh and try to quench that thirst with the temporary crap that the world offers, while God waits for us in the Garden, calling to us so that He may lavish His love upon our aching souls.

a recovering addict...

Every time my parents boast to me of the 'diverse' congregation at their church, I can't help but get a little irked. It seems like every Sunday brings yet another recovering addict, and they tell me that approximately a third of the church is made up of "those people" who were once alcoholics, drug addicts, convicts, etc. My sweet mom and dad rejoice in enthusiasm with each person who chooses our church to help distance themselves from their despicable past, and rightly so-there is nothing more beautiful than helping someone find redemption in Christ's blood. What I really have a hard time with however, is the line we draw between ourselves and others according to our past and current struggles. Who is to say one sin is necessarily "worse" than another? The fact is, every single member of that congregation, as well people everywhere-Christians and non-Christians alike-are recovering addicts. Because of this flesh that makes up our body, we are all addicted to sin. Granted, some sins may cause more drastic or immediate consequences, but either way it is not in our authority to deem our sins and struggles as better or worse than someone else's. It is hard for me to practically relate this concept to something in everyday life as I can't think of anything i have necessarily been addicted to..but it is a plain and simple fact that sin is an addiction of mankind. Temptation lures us in time and time again and we easily fall back into the vicious cycle of addiction. The beautiful thing is, we simply need to make the decision to start down the path of recovery and Christ is there with open arms to help make us whole again. Luke 15:32 "But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found." And you know what else? We are all in this together-each and everyone of us is striving to recover from whatever sins we are addicted to. Chances are we will slip up, which is why we are still labeled as recovering, not recovered. Knowing that we are all going through the same ..we need stop the judgment and learn to love.