sacrifice.

sacrifice: "surrender of something highly valued for the sake of one considered to have a greater value or claim"

gift: "to present voluntarily and without expecting compensation"

A gift is different than a sacrifice. A simple and somewhat obvious conclusion, yes, but is it one that we take the time to really and fully grasp? A gift is a voluntary act of merely handing something over to the other party involved, while a SACRIFICE includes letting go of something highly valued for the sake of that other person. I've recently come to understand the somewhat painful revelation that I have been giving my life to the Lord, but not sacrificing it to him. In only offering my life as a gift, I was able to 'secretly' hold onto the parts of it that I valued the most. In the gentle, yet firm way that only the Father can, he pulled back the veil and revealed how I had been deceiving myself and refusing to enter into the fullness of life that he has for me.

Growing up with a wonderful family and stable home, I was never really exposed to a sacrifice visible to the naked eye. I had what I needed and didn't need to make any sacrifices to 'get by.' The closest I got to knowing sacrifice was giving up the name brand shoes for a similar pair that was half the price, due to my ever frugal mother. :) I would read Matthew 16:24-25 (Then Jesus said to his disciples, "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it.) but I never truly comprehended the extent of what Jesus meant. Sure, I would give up my life to follow my Savior, but sacrifice everything? There must be some fine print at the bottom allowing us to keep a hold of the things we really cherished... As ridiculous as that sounds, it is exactly how I was choosing to live my life for the last 20 years. I was managing just fine too, until God tried a different approach (apparently his blatant statement in Matthew wasn't quite direct enough hah). He recently has asked me to surrender my heart fully to him. That includes everyone I love on this earth, in other words-those I hold dearest, and what I attribute the highest value to in my life. Prying my white-knuckled fingers off the edges of my heart was no easy task, and the pain that accompanied this endeavor was just short of excruciating. Even with my gentle and loving Father walking beside me, encouraging me to continue through this painful process, it was still 20 years of holding tightly that I was trying to release. But He who is in me is greater than he who is in the world..these things that I treasured so dearly, are still of this world and do not hold the eternal value of his salvation. Relationships and fellow children of the King are beautiful gifts that we should cherish throughout our lifetime, but they should never come before our Creator in our hearts!

It made sense that God was asking me to surrender my heart. He doesn't ask us for just the parts of us that are easy to toss aside, he wants what means most to us because it means the most to him as well. When we sacrifice, it is releasing those things that we deeply value, not what we could easily live without. The beauty of it all, is that once we have surrendered and made the sacrifice that he asks of it, we are wonderfully rewarded for it. Though a sacrifice is made with no motivation of compensation, our Father rejoices in being able to bless his children.

Sacrifice brings deeper intimacy, new levels of beauty, and a further knowledge of the love and grace of our God. Nothing on this earth, even those we hold the most dear, can compare to an increase in our growth with Jesus.